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Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 11, Episode 10
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the tenth episode of the eleventh series. Key * HD – Hugh Dennis * AP – Andy Parsons * JWk – Joe Wilkinson * CA – Chris Addison * JWd – Josh Widdicombe * MJ – Milton Jones Topics Unlikely Things To Hear in a News Programme HD - A tornado has struck the East Coast of America, carrying everything with it. Let's go over to our Washington correspondent... in Hawaii. AP - Welcome to Sky News. At the moment, the sky is blue. CA - After years of searching, the police say that they are now close to finding who let the dogs out. They have new leads. HD - Right, now, let's go over to the news in the shitty place you live. MJ '''-Scientists have injected a human embryo with Marmite. The woman gave birth to Twiglets. '''CA - Continuing our major story about news organisations hacking people: let's read a few of your e-mails. AP - More on that volcanic eruption in Iceland: two of the aisles have closed, one of the tills is out of order. HD - (with his back to the camera) This is the world's most literal reporter saying, "back to the studio" JWk - And now, over to Sue with the weather. I've 'ad her. CA - Our top story tonight: Anger grows among autocue operators following a massive pay cut bum tits willy fart I made him say that. JWd - It's hot and sunny outside, so why not head down the beach? You might see some tits! AP - And now, for the weather report. Let's hope it's a hot one. Oh no, it's Rob McElwee. MJ - And finally... (puts hand shaped like a gun to his head) HD - I'm in The Hague which must be very uncomfortable for him. MJ - A quick look at the weather now: (looks around him) Unlikely Things To Read on a Medical Label HD - Use only if you're immobile or find it difficult to move. Tested on Dara O'Briain. AP - Anti-diarrhoea medicine: In an emergency, shove the bottle up your arse. JWd - As recommended by Michael Jackson. HD - Ditetramethyl Chlorobenzoaete, for the anameal effluence of the trichordic aorta: Does exactly what it says on the tin. CA - Groin cream: Not suitable for people with a nut allergy. AP - Homeopathic tablets. Side effects, none. Main effects, none. HC - Embarassed using Anusol? Why not try this: Arse-crack soothe. MJ - Do not eat dairy, otherwise we will have nowhere to milk the cows. AP - Viagra: It'll give you more than 8%. HD - Contains placebox and madeitupalin. JWd - Viagra: Take 15 minutes before sex. Or if single, strap in for the wank of a lifetime. AP - Obesity pills: Don't eat the bottle, chubby. JWk - Keep out of reach of children. Not the tablets, YOU! CA - Store somewhere cool, like New York. HD - Pregnancy test: Pick up your daughter's boyfriend and shout "WAS IT YOU?" Category:Scenes We'd Like To See